You Are God by Jam Capistrano of VCF

Stanza 1

Eversince I heard His name my life wasn’t the same
In me, there was a change

Refrain:
You broke the chains, Jesus you broke the chains

Chorus:

You are God, lives you restored
You are God healer of all
You are God faithful and true
I can always find rest in you

Stanza 2:

Crucified for you and me
Coz of love that we may see
By His blood we’ve been set free

(repeat Refrain/ Chorus)

Bridge/Coda
Now I’m free because of you

~oOo~

Last night I was restless and unable to sleep. Too many things are bothering me. When hubby finally left for work, which is around 4am, I find myself even more restless. I decided to get up and read. I got out and stayed in the living room to read some pages of Our Daily Bread and some of the things I wrote in my prayer and devotion journal. To be honest, I’ve been feeling rather remorseful these days. I don’t quite feel God in my life right now. It seems that he is out there somewhere and the he just locked me up and decided not to hear all my prayers. I know I shouldn’t think this way. But sometimes, I just can’t help but feel that way.

I look at my son and other children and I can’t help but ask why my son. I have a special child for a brother and yes I’m guilty of not wanting him in my life when I was younger. He always adds up to my tasks, always needs extra attention. Having a special child in the family is like forcing the other children to grow up. I didn’t want to grow up right away, I want to be just like any other children. I was torn between loving my brother and feeling frustrated about the way he’s turned out.

Now I am faced with the same scenario. This time with my son. It was October of last year when we came face to face with the cold truth about his situation. He was diagnosed with PDD or Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Which his new doctor says is just a less stigmatizing term for ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was shattering to hear that. We refused to take him to a doctor initially because, like any other parent, we are in denial. Besides, his milestones used to match his age. Then he regressed after age 1.

Before the acceptance comes the blame game. When things go wrong, it is human nature that dictates that we find something or someone to put the blame on for what went amiss in our lives. We started blaming ourselves, the doctors, the vaccines. Unfortunately, to date, there is still no known cause and cure for the said disorder, which makes it all the more heart-wrenching.

Two Sundays ago, I went to church with a heavy heart. I feel weighed down with all the things that are going on, most of which is the situation with my son. But then during the service, the song You are God was sung by the music group and I felt God’s reassuring peace came over me. I know that doctors will tell me that there is no cure for ASD and that we just have to live with it. But God says otherwise.

Back when I was on my first trimester of pregnancy, my mother and I had a facial. The girl doing my facial didn’t realize I was pregnant until after she’s done using the laser thingy on me. She looked horrified upon finding out. But I was all the more panic-stricken. I asked friends who are doctors in profession and their responses only added to my worries. They said that it could result to a lot of complications, like organs not developing properly etc. I called up my cousin and we prayed for the baby. He told me that God is good and that He will reverse things to save the baby. Then I went to church the following day and the song “Turn it Around” by Lakewood, was sung during the service. I took that as a confirmation.

And true enough, God saw us through my pregnancy and my son’s newborn screening came back clear. He is a wonderful bundle of joy. He was quick to pick up on the things he was being taught, like opening and closing his hands and many other things. He is likewise very curious even as a child below one year of age. But then that happened.

When we first came to the doctor, I once again called my cousin and he reassured me once more that God is able to change things and to save my son. After all, what is impossible for men is possible for God. Then God gave me that song once again, so I can hold on to his promises and wait with joyful expectation.

Last Sunday, which the world celebrates as Easter Sunday, it has been a year since God gave me a miracle to assure me of my spiritual standing. He gave a new life to my trainee’s father. The old man was in a coma for almost 2 months and that Saturday morning before Easter, God moved me to pray for his dad. Right before we continued with his certification via video conference, the Holy Spirit moved me to pray for him and his dad. I had to practically stop every now and then to prevent myself from crying as I felt the Lord moved as I prayed. I was tempted to actually say the disclaimer we were all taught to say back in our old church (thankfully God took us out of it.). Back then, when praying for someone ill or dying, I always hear the elders of the church say that if the person dies, it is God’s will. But the Holy Spirit prevented me from saying that line. Later on, my cousin explained that it is indeed the Holy Spirit who led me. Because saying the said line is tantamount to doubting that God can perform divine healing on the person. It likewise goes against what God said, that he came to give life and that we may have it abundantly.

The next day on the way to church, while we were looking for a parking space, I received a message from my trainee in Cebu. He said that his dad woke up already. God is truly an awesome God! It was God’s way of telling me that He is alive and He gave me assurance of my spiritual standing. So despite what people would say, I would cling on to my God’s promises, for greater is God in us than he that is in this world.

Days before I went to church and heard that song – You are God, God gave me Jeremiah 32:42-44 and Jeremiah 33:1-26. And the phrase – “I will restore their fortunes” was mentioned five times. Now if God says it that much, you ought to believe it. And then of course when I went to church the song says that God restores lives. So I will trust in you Lord. Thank you for giving me the God kind of faith – faith that doesn’t doubt, doesn’t waver moves mountains and brings results. I will rest on your promises alone Lord,  I will not be moved by what I feel, see and hear, I will only be moved by your words. Thank you for bringing to pass healing and restoration to my son. Thank you for reminding me that You are God and not me and that you are capable of undoing the things done by the devil.

Turn it Around – Lakewood

Verse One: All things are possible for you all things are possible nothing’s too difficult for you nothing’s to difficult I’m ready for change ready for rain ready for favor I know you able to

Chorus: Turn it around open the windows of Heaven pour out a blessing overflow turn it around open the windows of Heaven pour out a blessing we cannot contain let it rain let it rain

Vamp: You have turned my mourning to dancing you’ve turned my sorrow to joy you have turned my whole life around thank you thank you Lord.

~oOo~