The year is about to close in a matter of days and here I am plagued with gazillion thoughts about hopelessness, sadness and confusion. As I try to reflect on the last five years, I felt sad about most of the choices I’ve made and mostly of the things I could’ve done. It only reiterates what older folks try to tell us time and time again, time is such a valuable resource, it slips away from your fingers like grains of sand.
Over the last few days, I feel my sanity slipping away. There has been several occasions when I hopelessly took it out on my son, with him physically and verbally falling prey to my ill-tempered moods. And here I am now, trying to make sense of what my life has become and hoping against all hope that there I can redeem myself, from the people who cared about me and are suffering as they see me helplessly falling into depression, from the people who oppressed me and above all, from myself.
Lord, I know that you are faithful, it is me who is not. Please hold my hand as 2012 marches into my life. Let me be a better person and clear my mind so I can make the best choices.